funny quotations - funny quotes

If the minimum wasn't acceptable it wouldn't be called the minimum.
--George Muncaster (Air Force Wisdom)

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in
fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.
- Robert Frost

Two lions broke loose in the zoo and were eating a clown.
One lion said to the other ...

"Does this taste funny to you?"
- Unknown

Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.
- Jim Davis

I'm a classic example of all humorists — only funny when I'm working.
- Peter Sellers

Great Britain and the United States are nations
separated by a common language.
- George Bernard Shaw

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)

A comedian does funny things. A good comedian does things funny.
- Buster Keaton